| welp things are so up and down... but ill finish my update later just becuz i dont have any pictures right now..
Maryeah<3
Edit:
Okay so I know that i didnt finish my last update but i just wanted to say that things are wonderful for me right now... honestly i think things are getting ready to be wonderful a long time.. Very excitied to see what this whole new year is gonna bring me it seems lke its starting off good... I hope that everyone elses is too...
About these pictures ive been saying im gonna update with yeah i will do it i just need time
End Edit: |
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| EDIT 12/5/05:
Actually there are a few things that I would like to say...I've learned a lesson i fucked up back in the summer by getting with one of my best friends ex boyfriends i shouldnt have done that i regret every minute of it because boys come and go...But a best friends is something that is irraplacable....So girls i dont think that you should ever cross that boundry...Now one of my best friends is crossing that boundry i dont know how to feel about it... I mean shes my best fucking friend i love the girl to death we have had so many good times together.... I dont just want throw away all of our good times together we have deff had a lot of them just because of some boy..But yet he isnt just some fucking boy..He was a big part of my life n i want to say he still is even though we are done as of today haha the only reason we are done is because now he likes my best friend when just 2 days ago he was asking me if i missed him n saying he just needed time to figure some shit out.. haha shouldnt have fell for that..but anyways it would be a completely differnt story if he didnt take my V-card n he wasnt my first love but thats just the one boy in life that you dont get with at least if your someones best friend...I mean you dont get with your best friends first love those are just the rules of being best friends...I mean damn this isnt the first time that shes done this..i mean i liked this one guy n i wanna say we were pretty much talking n she kissed him n started to like him so i gave him up n let her be with him cuz i didnt want to loose her i did the right thing...N now shes doing this i mean that guy didnt mean anything to me but this guy does i dont udnerstand it.. I mean if i was to do this to her id be the biggest bitch in the world n the shadiest one.. But what its suppose to be ok for her to do it... No fuck that when i did it to my best friend taylor i was being a bitch n everyone told me that n how fucked up it was... Even the best friend who is now doing it to me preached to me about how it was fucked up n i shouldnt have done it... But its funny cuz she told me quote " i would never get with any of my best friends ex-boy friends like i wouldnt get with corey cuz of you (talking bout me) , she was like n i wouldnt get with jack because of taylor, n i wouldnt get with mike because of caitlin, n i wouldnt get with robby because of amanda, because i no that they are just all boys,n i woudlnt want to loose of you guys for a boy, n i wouldnt like it if one of you got with tommy.." Those were her exact words to me one day....But i guess people n there opinions change on things... I mean what am i suppose to do..I know that if i just let it go n am friends with her things will be ok that is if she doesnt get with him... But if they get together i cant possibly be friends with her thats just to hard... I dont know what i am gonna do if i see them together... Soo i guess im just gonna have to let it ride out n see what all happens...
Having all this happen to me Taylor this is for you..girl i am so sorry i dont know why i ever did all that shit it was the one thing i my lief i regret..n i usally dont regret anything i do but i regret hurting you like that because you are one of my friends i tell you everything... N i cant believe i ever had to put u threw any of this... I now know how u felt then...i dont even no how u are friends with me to this day.. Girl i am so sorry n im so glad that we got our shit worked out...
haha yup n on top of all of this..My dad n mom are fighting like crazy my dad doesnt even stay the night at the house hes so fake hes just here during the day for my lil brother my mom n dad dont wont akira to be hurt... So he just leaves at night sleeps somewhere else comes home in the morning n takes me to school..
Everything is just so fucked up right now.. Im loosing everything that makes me happy... But thats okay because I have had worse things said to me before...N worse things been put on my shoulders than all this bull shit that is going on my life...
She has future plans
& dreamsz at night.
When they tell her
Life could be over she says
that it's alright & shes gonna live for the moment
What would you do if you werent sure that you were gonna graduate? That you werent a 100% sure that you would live to see your senior year or you werent a 100% sure that you ever go to college, get married, have kids.... That you had to live your life as each day is handed to you...Live for the moment that your in....Not take advantage of time..Not to look to far ahead into the future... To always look at the postive no matter negitive it is...
I know that everything is gonna be alright for me, I am a strong enough person to get threw anything that someone could throw my way, That when i wake up in the mornings I know that i made all the right choices, I wasn't scared to live or love....
Maryeah<3
END EDIT 12/5/05 |
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